Justice delayed and denied…how about this….?

A few weeks back I was watching a debate over the Ruchika case, whether Rathore’s punishment enough or not. And has the judicial system become a play toy for the rich and powerful. Then tons of such cases where the rich and powerful manage to evade punishments because they had money to fill up the pockets of the judicial system. Then the latest today was the verdict of the Bhopal Gas leak case. All this debate reminded me of someone.

Let me share with you a story which I was witness to from day one. I don’t know how many of you would remember this but in Kanpur sometime in 2000 a boy named Abhinav Misra who supposedly was in love with this girl called Arti, destroyed her face and life with a bottle of clinical acid. The acid that is used in car batteries was thrown on the girls face from a moving car just outside her house when she was returning with her father from her coaching classes.

The reason – she did not accept the true love Abhinav had for her and she deserved to be punished for the crime.

Now let’s look at the back grounds of these two people. Abhinav Misra is the younger son of a senior Sales Tax officer in Kanpur. One of the most corrupt government officials I’ve known, he is a multi millionaire thanks to the bribes he’s taken all his life. And unfortunately I do know them quite well, they happen to be our family friend’s relative. And this unfortunate coincidence makes it more of a reason to share this story with the world.

Arti on the other hand is the daughter of a professor in one of the local colleges. I somehow not personally but knew her too. My cousin was working with her father and had met Arti at a wedding party just a night before her life changed forever. Arti was a beautiful girl, slender body, milky white complexion and a pretty face; she slightly resembled Twinkle Khanna. The night before the tragedy she came for the wedding in a maroon dress, looking stunning. My sister couldn’t stop raving about how pretty she looked the next morning. In fact the picture that was printed in the news paper was also from the night before.

Abhinav had been stalking Arti for a long time now. Trying to convince/threaten her to accept his so called love for her and she kept denying. It was because of his stalking her father would pick & drop her to the coaching classes she used to attend. That morning as well, like any other day she was returning from her coaching classes when Abhinav and his friends followed them in a Maruti Van and threw a bottle of acid on her face, just outside their house. She ran inside screaming in pain, while her father also injured tried to figure out who it was and where this acid came from. For the first few moments no one realized the severity of what had happened. She was just screaming and tried to wash her face with cool water. And their world fell apart when she lifted her head from the wash basin and her mother and sister saw her face.

The left side of her face was almost not there, it was burnt so deep that you could almost see the bones. They immediately rushed her to the hospital. Immediate care was given to her, but it was too late. The doctors somehow managed to save her left eye from permanent damage, but till today she doesn’t have the lower eye lid, it was completely burnt and destroyed and because of this for months she had to sleep with her left eye open. I don’t know the status now. Each day in the hospital she would beg her family to let her look at the mirror and see what’s wrong with her face, but no one had the courage to let her do that.

The police complaint was immediately filed, and since her father worked with the Swaroop family, which happens to be one of the very strong political families in the city so, the police had given Arti and her family full support. And by the evening Abhinav was arrested and soon after his friend who helped him. That night his family was present at the wedding of the same family friend we knew them through. Suddenly in the middle of the ceremony people started whispering and the older men of the family left in a hurry. I knew about the incident that time, but didn’t know that just a few minutes back I was probably chit chatting with his family members.

There was huge uproar in the city, and just about everyone wanted to kill the bastard who destroyed the life of this innocent girl. The whole city was filled with anger and hatred, the local people, police, lawyers and even the prisoners in the Kanpur Jail wanted to kill him. People called them names and threw stones at his house. His family went absconding for a while.

And then the trial started. Mr. Misra the corrupt official that he was managed to get his son out on bail. The trail went on and on and on…for nine long years. We all know what happened at the end of the nine years.

I want to tell you what he did in those nine years, when Arti and her family tried to come to terms with reality and live with what had happened to them.

Abhinav, joined an MBA college in Pune roughly a year and a half after this. In his father’s words, “Arre, Puna bhej diya hai usse…humne socha ye hi to din hai…life enjoy karne dain…”

These were his words, just a year after his son had committed such a heinous crime. A few months later, on the honhar son’s birthday, Mr. Misra sends his son a car. Then some more months later, son finishes the course and starts working. And guess what, a few years back he was married to a homely, cultured, well educated and beautiful – very fair, Brahmin girl. Whose father not only gave his daughter to an animal like this but also lacs of rupees as dowry.

And the interesting thing is that the girl he married and her family knew what he had done to Arti. They were happily married for I guess four years or so before the final judgment and from what I’ve heard they had a son as well.

And what about Arti, would she ever marry, have children or even be able to walk out of her house without people staring at her with horror. The last 9 years she not only fought for justice, but also with herself trying to come to terms with life. She lives the trauma of that day, every single day in the eyes of the world and in the mirror.

Now you say…is this just justice delayed…or denied…coz the person actually sentenced for solitary life imprisonment is Arti….

Lets uncomplicate life....

Mujh ko yaqeen hai…sach kehti theen…jo bhi ammi kehti theen..

Jab mere bachpan ke din the…chaand main pariyan rehti theen….

How true isn’t it? Today in a meeting we were discussing work life balance issues and I was thinking about how our life was a few years back. Careless, carefree and so much fun.

Last night while grocery shopping I came across a shop selling Crax. Remember the circular rings with a minty flavor. While devouring on the chips, I was thinking when this product used to be available in abundance but we were not allowed to eat it. Now we don’t have the restriction but most times we don’t have the time to even look at the shop which sells it. I can’t describe in words how much I enjoyed eating that packet of unhealthy rice puffs. Coz it reminded me of my childhood, the good old days when life was simple. When life was life and not analysis.

Just about a decade ago we would happily go out for an ice cream in the middle of the afternoon in my grandfather’s Fiat, windows rolled down; the heat and dust never affected us then. But now you need an air con in your car, office and house, you can’t spend an afternoon without it.

Now I step out and I come back home with all sorts of allergic reactions.

Yes a lot is to be blamed on our life styles now, but have we forgotten the simple life in the mad rush of technology.

There’s this advertisement on television these days, it’s for a mobile internet service and it talks about the concept of “Speed Living”. And as per the creators of the ad, it means, living all at ones. Doing everything you want to do at ones and NOW.

Ok, agreed we talk about the Power of Now. And Living and Appreciating the moment you live in and all that. But what’s this about. Speed Living….???? Gimme a break…!!!

Are we not living a life fast enough already that I would require a mobile phone to listen to a college lecture while I take my grandmother for a walk? How busy are we that we do not have the time to take her for a walk before or after the class. Or do we need to have mobile television when we are out with friends? Can we not wait for to go home and watch the program…? How important are these programs anyways?

Remember the good old Doordarshan days, where we had to wait the entire week to watch an episode of your favorite program. And how we looked forward to even the lousiest movie aired on a Saturday. And how we waited to listen to the latest songs on Chitrahaar every Wednesday, remember.

Now, what you see all weekend are runs and re-runs of all the ridiculous episodes of the saas-bahu sagas, and the super idiotic reality shows. And with the programs being repeated a thousand times already we’re buying DTH services which enables us to record programs. Aaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhh………….

I keep cribbing about my husband that spending way too much time playing golf in the sun. But I guess he is one of those few people in the world who actually get out of the house and do something other than going to a mall.

What has life become?

We have quarter-life, mid-life, mid-mid-life and I don’t know how many kinds of crises’ these days. I hear people at the age of 25 dying of heart attacks. People in their 20s requiring psychological help to deal with work life balance issues, relationship issues, marital issues and crap like that. We spend so much time reading and listening to people who give us gyan about life and we don’t live it. For living life or our relationships we need a coach. If you still have grandparents, ask them if they needed a Life Coach to actually tell them how to live their life.

We are scared of making mistakes; we want to be right always. We want to know answers for everything. Why….?

Why at 28 should I be worried about the things that would happen at 48? Or, why do I need to find meanings and hidden meanings in my relationships? What he said…what he meant and all the other crap that screws our brains!!!

I can bet that my grandparents never thought about their marriage in so much detail. And how long did their marriage last…? Well, sixty years. And these days you start having expectation issues and adjustment issues in as little as sixty days.

This quest of a bigger and better and more meaningful life has brought us to a place where we’re just analyzing it and not living it. We’ve complicated our work, our homes and our relationships because we wanted to add more meaning to them.

We’ve even complicated happiness and pleasure. I remember how much I used to enjoy watching the stars each night with my little sister. We would just lie on the terrace for hours, talk about all the weird, funny and even ridiculous stuff we wanted to do when we grew up. And now, I chat with her on Google Talk and half the time either of messages back “I’m Busy”.

Life isn’t a fairy tale agreed. But let’s just uncomplicated and live it.

Let’s not plan buying a house on the moon….vahan pariyan hi rehne do…!!!

Where is life...within or around you....

Off late, I’ve heard way too many lectures about spirituality and finding love & happiness within, so I thought why not write something about it. Being spiritual is the in thing these days. Just about everyone I see around me seems to be reading books on finding happiness within, the power of now or the laws of attraction etc, etc. Being a part of some spiritual society is becoming fashion, a discussion point in social gatherings, at work or casual conversations. We’re all out there to tell the whole world how close we are to our inner self and the All Mighty.
It’s actually nice to see more & more people trying to know and discover the true meaning of life and who we are, but my question is are we actually doing that. I’m yet to come across a person who is following the spiritual path and actually has made changes to his/her life style. Or has accepted people as they are, or displays compassion towards all living beings around. When I joined the Art of Living, my reason was to get the strength to fight the challenges I was facing in life. I was under severe depression and I needed something to get me out of it. The course, the teachings and the experience of doing the Kriya was amazing. It not only got me out of the depression that was killing me but also gave me the strength to be strong. It actually made me aware of who I was; a person as strong as a mountain with unshakable will power. I didn’t know this before the course. It made me realize the strength I needed was within me I just had to dust it out and use it. This learning helped me a lot. Today I know no matter what the circumstances are I can deal with it. The fight no matter how fierce I can fight it and win it too!!!!
But did I use this lesson of spirituality and oneness with self and God to accept people around me?
The answer is – NO.
I didn’t, yes I got the strength to fight my battles, but with this new found strength I fought with other people to succeed. And not even for a minute I looked at anyone as just a fellow human being and over look their faults and short comings. And not just me I really doubt if anyone else does. The people I met there appeared calm and peaceful during the short interactions that I had during the discourses. But when I got to know them better I realized, that the lessons they had learnt there were not applied at home.
A friend who calls himself a devotee and thinks he wants to dedicate life to God and has hymns and prayers for his ring tones. He spends his time cheating on his wife and eventually they’ve separated. He is fighting for the custody of his child, with the woman who meant everything to him at one point in time. Another lady I met, calm, quiet and peaceful woman, so devoted and so dedicated to the group, that you can’t find a fault in her. One day I land up at her door for some work, and she’s standing there abusing her very old almost fragile & lifeless mother in law. She was calling her names and cursing her one minute and was saying “Jai Gurudev” to me in the next moment.
Then I met another lady, a very attractive woman studded in diamonds, well spoken and polite. She was married to a diamond merchant and was a mother of two children, who were studying outside the country. Till now looks like a normal woman with some time on hand, but looking closely I realized that she was having an affair with another man in the group. And the two of them were travelling the country not following Guru Ji, but to be together. Spirituality was just the cover up.
And many more cases like these. Where people leave their families and homes and children and run to the ashram in search of peace and not realizing that peace is not in the ashram. It’s all around you. And you will not be at peace till people around you who matter and who make what your life is, are happy and at peace. God or your Gurus don’t tell you to leave people around you and just run after things that make you happy.
Spirituality isn’t selfish, it never about you…it’s about people, animals and beings around you. Spirituality and true peace is not in finding peace, love and happiness within you. Coz what you have in you is yours, just for you to feel and experience. True love and happiness is not about being happy within yourself, it’s about making people around you happy. Each time you make someone smile, you add a little drop of peace to your life. Each time you water a plant and see it grow it adds to your happiness.
It’s about giving and not receiving. You need to give love and happiness to all around you. That’s what spirituality is. To love someone selflessly, just love even if you don’t get it in return, this will bring you closer to God. It would be painful but if you manage to experience this kind of love even once in life, you’ve achieved peace. Love someone so much that it physically hurts, that’s when you attain happiness. That’s when you experience God.
All the saints in the world loved God to this extent, and they became saints. We don’t intend to be saints but we do intend to get close to the All Mighty, whatever form we see him in. If that’s what you want then love people, animals, trees everything around you and you’ll find him. We talk about looking within and finding peace coz it’s very very difficult to love without even the hope of getting something in return. We are scared and therefore we want to look within. It’s more comforting. When look around you see hurt and pain, it’s difficult to deal with. We don’t want to love coz we are scared of getting hurt. But what’s love without the pain. Love needs sacrifice; it needs you to suffer to know what it truly is. Once you experience it, nothing looks difficult. No challenge or pain big enough to scare you.
This is what truly the Art of Living is and it’s learning. I learnt to love so deeply that it hurt and realized the true meaning of life. I hurt myself so deeply for that love that I became tough enough to endure any challenge in life. Each day instead of asking God “why me…” for the pain I felt, I could say “try me…” And in spite of being heartbroken and hurt, it gave me the courage to start all over again.
This, my friend is true spirituality.
Life is always around you in all that you see…not within you….
So look up and love….

Addicted

When I met you I was a mess...what happened with you was probably my way of getting over the last horrible relationship I was in. But what happened after that…? This is something I am yet to figure out. I didn’t realize my ten days and a kiss theory would end up becoming a habit of kissing you, ten times a day… ;)

 

What started as an effort to get over the past suddenly became my present and gradually my dreams of the future. It is just the perfect relationship I can’t deny that, we both understand each other well. We both know what the other person’s fears are and we know each others strengths. Also as they say what could be better if best friends become partners!!!!

 

So, we the best friends decide to become partners, but life isn’t so simple is it…???

 

They say when you die and you have some unfinished business your soul does not rest in peace till the task is finished. An unfinished past also does the same to you. Just when you thought you have sorted things out and you are ready to move on…you’ve got a surprise waiting for you right outside your door in the middle of the night. Amazing…isn’t it…. Just when you fall asleep comfortably in your best friend’s arms, feeling warm and secure… that little surprise wakes you up to reality….

 

Sometimes I wonder how such things happen…I mean how much of a coincidence can this be… you have a great evening with your love…new love I must mention… you spend the entire evening discussing your life together… from the wedding to the honeymoon… to career plans to kids… you discuss everything…and guess what both of you are thinking about your ex-lovers.

And somewhere down the line have this question in your heart why isn’t the person sitting in front of me him or her. You don’t think about them because you miss them or you are not happy in your new relationship. Your truly happy, happier than you were ever in the past and you do not miss them at all, you think about them coz they keep knocking at your door. You think about them coz you’ve not ended it once and for all.

 

Somehow when it comes to ending relationships, I think there can never be a healthy break-up. It doesn’t end till you’re nasty does it…?? I still haven’t found a way to bring my past relationship to a closure. And neither has he…

Somehow it’s just the most difficult thing to do… to tell the person who once was the center of your Universe that you don’t need them anymore. Its difficult to tell them that you’ve fallen in love again… you’ve found someone who loves you for what you are… you’ve found someone who truly makes you smile… you’ve found someone who cares for you… and someone who’s willing to accept you in-spite of all the mistakes and blunders of the past. Someone who’s just ok with all your imperfections coz they don’t matter… and someone to who is your best friend… the one you shared all your secrets and fears with… someone who does no think that you are a freak if you share your anxieties and weaknesses with them. And even when we find all that we don’t want to let go of the past… or are we not able to let it go.

Why and how does this become so difficult…???

 

Is yesterday’s pain & suffering more fulfilling than today’s happiness and the sense of completeness you receive from this new person in your life…???

 

Are we addicted to pain…??? Do we enjoy it now…??

 

I guess yes… we humans are very competitive my nature, we like the pressure; we tend to enjoy the constant struggle that we are in when in a rotten relationship. And somewhere we get really comfortable with the relationship however it is. And since there’s always some fire in the relationship, we find it difficult to believe that it is possible to have a relationship where things are smooth. A relationship where everything is fine and you are actually happy and not in a constant trauma, pain and suffering… A relationship where the two of you share smiles rather than screaming at each other and crying yourself to sleep…

 

It just so hard to accept this simple thing…

Why do we always doubt the simple things in life…

When I was with my ex and my (now) boy friend was with his ex, neither of us ever doubted the sanctity of the relationship and we never questioned the happiness we would get once we were with them, in spite of the fact that all we got in that relationship was pain and sadness. But the moment we find found happiness in each other and it seemed that we can take it further and make it last we started questioning each other.

 

“Would we be happy like this…even after we get married…???”

“Would you always love me the way you do now…???”

“Would you remain this way always…???”

 

And the list is endless, I’m wondering why didn’t we ask these questions to ourselves and to our ex lovers when we were unhappy. You know why, coz we accept unhappiness, failure etc more easily as compared to happiness, love and success.

 

He say’s “I Love you…” and I ask do you really mean it. And when I say it he asks if I’ll love him the same way always.

 

And now when we are thinking of tying the knot, our past is still knocking on the door. And the sad part is that we’re not willing to seal that door forever. At this stage also we are worried that we would break their hearts.

 

I still burst into tears when my ex gets drunk and calls me in the middle of the night…

 

And he finds it traumatic to tell his ex that he has decided to marry someone else…

 

We both don’t want to break their hearts, without realizing we might be breaking each other’s heart.

 

Rotten love is like a drug, and its addiction is deadly. Sometimes pain is so pleasurable and so addictive that we are willing to give up just about everything to stay in it.

 

But the question is… is it worth it…???

 

Would you like to loose the one person who truly makes you happy for this addiction to pain…???

 

Give it a thought…

Ten days and a kiss.........

“Ten days and a kiss that’s all it takes….you’ll get over him soon…” these were the words of guy telling me how easy it was surviving a break-up.

And apparently it turns out that’s true…it did took me only ten days and a kiss to get over the longest love affair of my life. It took me just ten days and a kiss to forget the one man I thought I loved the most in life. Relationships are tricky and we make them trickier by believing that they are forever. In life the only relationship you have forever is the one that you have with yourself.

Now doesn’t that sound like a really selfish, self-centered and insensitive statement, Hell yes it does…!!

But no matter how insensitive the statement might sound it is the truth of all of us. We fall in and out of love thinking that this person I’m with is the true love of my life and I’ve found the Right person for me and this is forever. We meet people, we fall in love and then we meet someone else….!!!

I always thought after meeting the Love of my life that I would never get attracted to any other man ever. I thought that when you are truly in love with that one perfect person you wouldn’t need anyone else. Well, I was wrong, I did need someone. I needed someone to hold on to, someone to help me get out of the true Love I was in. Not even in my wildest dreams had I imagined that I would ever need another man to help me let go of the one man I thought I was truly in Love with.

I a new man to help me get over a relationship with the old one, because I didn’t want to end the relationship I had with myself.

We live and we love for ourselves. We all do…but this makes me wonder why we claim that we love others selflessly.

All this while I was in Love with my true Love, I claimed that I have never loved anyone so selflessly. Everything I did, I said, I ate, I drank was for him. He was the center of my universe. He was the reason I lived, and if I was to live my life without him my heart would probably stop beating. What the FUCK…..!!!!

Who was I kidding….???
No matter how much we say we love another person the truth remains that we love ourselves the most. Everything I did to make that relationship work was not for him….it was for me. I did everything I possibly could because I wanted to get married. And more than that, I wanted to prove to myself that I could have whatever I wanted in life. And I also wanted tell this world how wrong they were in telling me that this relationship would not work. And many more of such reasons, and in the end I was the one who ended it because I realized it wasn’t worth the pain. I realized that no relationship is worth ruining yourself for…and more importantly I guess because I realized I deserve better.

When I look back at the last three and a half or four years that I had spent with him, I see that there was nothing I ever did which was truly for him. It never is…everything we do has the ultimate objective of our own happiness behind it. We bend ourselves as much we think our hearts and minds can endure in order to achieve this ultimate happiness but the moment we feel that the pain is out of hand we let it go.

So if our happiness is of utmost importance to us then why do go through all this pain. I keep asking myself was it all worth the misery.

We keep saying love hurts…we’ve been saying that since time immemorial then why do we keep falling in love over and over again. And each time our hearts break we either console ourselves by saying it wasn’t meant to be or it helped me become a better person.

The “it wasn’t meant to be…” statement seems so superficial to me that I wouldn’t even like to consider it. But what do we mean when we say that it helped me become a better person. Do we need our hearts broken, scarred, and burnt to learn to be better people…?? People say when your heart is broken and scarred you get closer to God. I don’t know if I got any closer to him or not, it for sure was a painful process.

But the question remains, was it worth it…and do we actually become better people or we become worse. We don’t stop trying but at the same time we stop trusting. We want the forever and at the same time we run away from it. I guess it’s the fear of loosing ourselves that keeps us away from this concept of selfless love. I guess that’s why it just takes ten days and a kiss to let go of the true Love. Funny isn’t it…. ;)

 

PS: I’m sure a lot of you might think this “ten days and a kiss” thing to be crap. I did to, but if you’re in a rotten relationship then find a person who can give you undivided attention for ten days and is willing to kiss you. Try it; it’ll reduce the pain of the heart break.

Statutory warning: make sure the kiss doesn’t lead you to another relationship, at least not within ten days. Don’t rush into another one so soon.

Just who i am....

“Ally said if I come out of my problems I’ll go find some more…I like being a mess that’s just who I am.”

Well isn’t she so talking about me, I simply love this woman. When I see her I see myself, what she does and what she feels it’s just what I feel. Maybe because things in my life have been quite like hers, she does things and feels things as wacky as I do. Today Billy admitted he still loves her, trust me I know exactly how she would have felt when she heard that. I sometimes wish Ally & Billy were together, and she was not alone and wacked like she is now. But then if you think about it deeply then you would know that the series wouldn’t have been there at all. This after all is a story of an independent, charming and yet lonely woman. Who probably is one of the most desirable woman one could find and her own love didn’t take her for life.

Life is also just like that, I’m not just talking about myself. When I look around I see that the most desirable independent & charming women are the ones who are the loneliest.

I guess that’s the irony of life, each man around the world is intimidated or awed by the charm & the independence and the way she carries herself etc etc. But then when it comes to spending their lives with these women, they back off. At times I feel that men can’t handle a woman as capable as themselves or what ever it is. But one thing is for sure loneliness is the price a woman often pays for her independence. Call it whatever but somewhere deep in a man’s heart he wants to be with a woman who would take care of his home and not a board room. Its not that women who are in charge of the board rooms can’t take care of homes, it’s just how we perceive them. These women are adventurous, fearless and confident; they have their head above their shoulders and self-esteem soaring high. And that’s where the problem lies…they are willing to take chances and risk their world to get what they want. They are willing to fight till the end and win each battle in life; be it in the board room or in the bed room. And boom there goes the relationship.

Women like these (me included) are fighters they would do anything to get what they want. And while fighting for it a lot of times we loose sight of the one we are fighting for. We don’t realize that while fighting for it we just lost him on the way, and left him so far behind that he decided to change course. And that’s it that’s the end of it.

I think in the happiness and the sheer pleasure of having him, and then with the will to win him back I actually forgot to keep him with me. I just went too far and he probably lost track.

Well no matter what this fierce independent woman wouldn’t loose heart and I shall win him back; even if it takes for me to go a few steps backwards.

So way to go Ally….and all you beautiful women out there….just be what you are coz that’s what matters the most.

Ever after...

Ally said last night said that once in every life time we fall in love with someone we never fall out of. But then even if we don’t fall out of love with that someone. How true, for some reason I had always seen myself somewhere in Ally. But never in my dreams had I imagined that my life would be something like hers. I was on top of this world when I fell in love with him and my happiness knew no boundaries when he asked me to marry him. And then one fine day when I was busy making preparations for our wedding he decides that this relationship isn’t the best for both of us. For some reason he feels that we wouldn’t be happy together, and then again I see Ally standing & staring me in my face. Just like Billy he decides to let me and this relationship go, thankfully not just like Billy did by marrying Georgia. But no matter what the pain was as bad as it could have been. I just hope we don’t end up like Ally & Billy, I just pray that we get to have a happy ending and live happily ever after.

But what exactly is living happily ever after…???

Is it about getting married and having kids…??? Or is it about just being in love for the rest of our lives…???

I think it’s a combination of both… well that’s at least how I would want our life to be, together married with kids and loving each other for the rest of our lives. But does this happen, do people or lovers who get married love each other all through their lives…???

Almost all my friends are married either to the one they love or to someone their parents suggested, but why don’t I see any of them happy. Just the other day I met a girl who was about to be married to her sweet heart she had been seeing for more than 6 years and still she wasn’t happy, her to be mom-in-law was very successfully creating riffs between the happy couple. Then I see my best friend who married the guy her parents chose for her and now she is struggling with her marriage coz the guy doesn’t wish to give her the amount of respect and freedom she deserves. And then there is another couple who is happy among themselves but the guy is living with guilt of not being able to be with his parents because his wife doesn’t like that much. What is this marriage thing all about…???

I know that you can’t get the best of both worlds at the same time and you always win some and loose some, but aren’t we loosing out on our happiness because of either our spouse’s happiness or our parents or our in-laws happiness. Why don’t we as complete civilized individuals be happy and content with our lives and ourselves..???

When I say this I’m no different because at this point in time I’m being torn apart between the love of my parents and the only man on earth I truly love. The only reason I’m writing this and putting it on the blog is because I want you someone who’s reading this to answer my question.

What is a person’s real happiness…??? Why are we so dependent on someone else in this world to make us happy…??? Why is it that I feel that no man on this earth would keep me as happy as he would…???

At times I feel that I’m being stupid for just going crazy over someone who doesn’t even feel this relationship would last. But then would it be fair to let something so precious to me go because he is feeling insecure about it. Every single day my parents storm me with photographs of all the prospective grooms they feel would be fit for their lovely daughter but my heart doesn’t seem to agree. The fairly tale world that I have been living in can’t believe that my happily ever after might just not happen. Do people even have a “happily ever after” ending…???

You know when I think of my grand parents I believe that this happens, people love each other till death takes them apart and even in heaven they stay together. And then I think that Ally was right, there always is that someone in each of our lives with whom we never fall out of love. Not even after they die, when we truly love someone we never let that person go. And when I love him so much how can I let him go…