Lets uncomplicate life....

Mujh ko yaqeen hai…sach kehti theen…jo bhi ammi kehti theen..

Jab mere bachpan ke din the…chaand main pariyan rehti theen….

How true isn’t it? Today in a meeting we were discussing work life balance issues and I was thinking about how our life was a few years back. Careless, carefree and so much fun.

Last night while grocery shopping I came across a shop selling Crax. Remember the circular rings with a minty flavor. While devouring on the chips, I was thinking when this product used to be available in abundance but we were not allowed to eat it. Now we don’t have the restriction but most times we don’t have the time to even look at the shop which sells it. I can’t describe in words how much I enjoyed eating that packet of unhealthy rice puffs. Coz it reminded me of my childhood, the good old days when life was simple. When life was life and not analysis.

Just about a decade ago we would happily go out for an ice cream in the middle of the afternoon in my grandfather’s Fiat, windows rolled down; the heat and dust never affected us then. But now you need an air con in your car, office and house, you can’t spend an afternoon without it.

Now I step out and I come back home with all sorts of allergic reactions.

Yes a lot is to be blamed on our life styles now, but have we forgotten the simple life in the mad rush of technology.

There’s this advertisement on television these days, it’s for a mobile internet service and it talks about the concept of “Speed Living”. And as per the creators of the ad, it means, living all at ones. Doing everything you want to do at ones and NOW.

Ok, agreed we talk about the Power of Now. And Living and Appreciating the moment you live in and all that. But what’s this about. Speed Living….???? Gimme a break…!!!

Are we not living a life fast enough already that I would require a mobile phone to listen to a college lecture while I take my grandmother for a walk? How busy are we that we do not have the time to take her for a walk before or after the class. Or do we need to have mobile television when we are out with friends? Can we not wait for to go home and watch the program…? How important are these programs anyways?

Remember the good old Doordarshan days, where we had to wait the entire week to watch an episode of your favorite program. And how we looked forward to even the lousiest movie aired on a Saturday. And how we waited to listen to the latest songs on Chitrahaar every Wednesday, remember.

Now, what you see all weekend are runs and re-runs of all the ridiculous episodes of the saas-bahu sagas, and the super idiotic reality shows. And with the programs being repeated a thousand times already we’re buying DTH services which enables us to record programs. Aaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhh………….

I keep cribbing about my husband that spending way too much time playing golf in the sun. But I guess he is one of those few people in the world who actually get out of the house and do something other than going to a mall.

What has life become?

We have quarter-life, mid-life, mid-mid-life and I don’t know how many kinds of crises’ these days. I hear people at the age of 25 dying of heart attacks. People in their 20s requiring psychological help to deal with work life balance issues, relationship issues, marital issues and crap like that. We spend so much time reading and listening to people who give us gyan about life and we don’t live it. For living life or our relationships we need a coach. If you still have grandparents, ask them if they needed a Life Coach to actually tell them how to live their life.

We are scared of making mistakes; we want to be right always. We want to know answers for everything. Why….?

Why at 28 should I be worried about the things that would happen at 48? Or, why do I need to find meanings and hidden meanings in my relationships? What he said…what he meant and all the other crap that screws our brains!!!

I can bet that my grandparents never thought about their marriage in so much detail. And how long did their marriage last…? Well, sixty years. And these days you start having expectation issues and adjustment issues in as little as sixty days.

This quest of a bigger and better and more meaningful life has brought us to a place where we’re just analyzing it and not living it. We’ve complicated our work, our homes and our relationships because we wanted to add more meaning to them.

We’ve even complicated happiness and pleasure. I remember how much I used to enjoy watching the stars each night with my little sister. We would just lie on the terrace for hours, talk about all the weird, funny and even ridiculous stuff we wanted to do when we grew up. And now, I chat with her on Google Talk and half the time either of messages back “I’m Busy”.

Life isn’t a fairy tale agreed. But let’s just uncomplicated and live it.

Let’s not plan buying a house on the moon….vahan pariyan hi rehne do…!!!

Where is life...within or around you....

Off late, I’ve heard way too many lectures about spirituality and finding love & happiness within, so I thought why not write something about it. Being spiritual is the in thing these days. Just about everyone I see around me seems to be reading books on finding happiness within, the power of now or the laws of attraction etc, etc. Being a part of some spiritual society is becoming fashion, a discussion point in social gatherings, at work or casual conversations. We’re all out there to tell the whole world how close we are to our inner self and the All Mighty.
It’s actually nice to see more & more people trying to know and discover the true meaning of life and who we are, but my question is are we actually doing that. I’m yet to come across a person who is following the spiritual path and actually has made changes to his/her life style. Or has accepted people as they are, or displays compassion towards all living beings around. When I joined the Art of Living, my reason was to get the strength to fight the challenges I was facing in life. I was under severe depression and I needed something to get me out of it. The course, the teachings and the experience of doing the Kriya was amazing. It not only got me out of the depression that was killing me but also gave me the strength to be strong. It actually made me aware of who I was; a person as strong as a mountain with unshakable will power. I didn’t know this before the course. It made me realize the strength I needed was within me I just had to dust it out and use it. This learning helped me a lot. Today I know no matter what the circumstances are I can deal with it. The fight no matter how fierce I can fight it and win it too!!!!
But did I use this lesson of spirituality and oneness with self and God to accept people around me?
The answer is – NO.
I didn’t, yes I got the strength to fight my battles, but with this new found strength I fought with other people to succeed. And not even for a minute I looked at anyone as just a fellow human being and over look their faults and short comings. And not just me I really doubt if anyone else does. The people I met there appeared calm and peaceful during the short interactions that I had during the discourses. But when I got to know them better I realized, that the lessons they had learnt there were not applied at home.
A friend who calls himself a devotee and thinks he wants to dedicate life to God and has hymns and prayers for his ring tones. He spends his time cheating on his wife and eventually they’ve separated. He is fighting for the custody of his child, with the woman who meant everything to him at one point in time. Another lady I met, calm, quiet and peaceful woman, so devoted and so dedicated to the group, that you can’t find a fault in her. One day I land up at her door for some work, and she’s standing there abusing her very old almost fragile & lifeless mother in law. She was calling her names and cursing her one minute and was saying “Jai Gurudev” to me in the next moment.
Then I met another lady, a very attractive woman studded in diamonds, well spoken and polite. She was married to a diamond merchant and was a mother of two children, who were studying outside the country. Till now looks like a normal woman with some time on hand, but looking closely I realized that she was having an affair with another man in the group. And the two of them were travelling the country not following Guru Ji, but to be together. Spirituality was just the cover up.
And many more cases like these. Where people leave their families and homes and children and run to the ashram in search of peace and not realizing that peace is not in the ashram. It’s all around you. And you will not be at peace till people around you who matter and who make what your life is, are happy and at peace. God or your Gurus don’t tell you to leave people around you and just run after things that make you happy.
Spirituality isn’t selfish, it never about you…it’s about people, animals and beings around you. Spirituality and true peace is not in finding peace, love and happiness within you. Coz what you have in you is yours, just for you to feel and experience. True love and happiness is not about being happy within yourself, it’s about making people around you happy. Each time you make someone smile, you add a little drop of peace to your life. Each time you water a plant and see it grow it adds to your happiness.
It’s about giving and not receiving. You need to give love and happiness to all around you. That’s what spirituality is. To love someone selflessly, just love even if you don’t get it in return, this will bring you closer to God. It would be painful but if you manage to experience this kind of love even once in life, you’ve achieved peace. Love someone so much that it physically hurts, that’s when you attain happiness. That’s when you experience God.
All the saints in the world loved God to this extent, and they became saints. We don’t intend to be saints but we do intend to get close to the All Mighty, whatever form we see him in. If that’s what you want then love people, animals, trees everything around you and you’ll find him. We talk about looking within and finding peace coz it’s very very difficult to love without even the hope of getting something in return. We are scared and therefore we want to look within. It’s more comforting. When look around you see hurt and pain, it’s difficult to deal with. We don’t want to love coz we are scared of getting hurt. But what’s love without the pain. Love needs sacrifice; it needs you to suffer to know what it truly is. Once you experience it, nothing looks difficult. No challenge or pain big enough to scare you.
This is what truly the Art of Living is and it’s learning. I learnt to love so deeply that it hurt and realized the true meaning of life. I hurt myself so deeply for that love that I became tough enough to endure any challenge in life. Each day instead of asking God “why me…” for the pain I felt, I could say “try me…” And in spite of being heartbroken and hurt, it gave me the courage to start all over again.
This, my friend is true spirituality.
Life is always around you in all that you see…not within you….
So look up and love….